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Joe Biden
Joe Biden
In his opinion the smartest person in any room he's located, the King of Gaffes graduated from the University of Delaware ranked 506th of 688 in his class.

After being caught plagiarizing in law school, Biden wasted no time in entering politics.

In 1987, Presidential candidate Biden was caught plagiarizing speeches from British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock, Senator Robert F. Kennedy, President John F. Kennedy, and Vice President Hubert H. Humphrey.

His next major accomplishment was the acquisition of low cost hair plugs, a collection he still sports today.
Joe Biden on Wikipedia
Joe Biden Quotes
Speaking at Miami Dade College, Vice President Biden claimed China, not Canada, was part of North America.
“North America is going to be for the first half of this century at least the epicenter of energy in the world. Not the Arabian Peninsula. Not Venezuela. Not Nigeria. North America: Mexico, the United States, and China.”
Joe Biden, September 2, 2015 Audio and/or video clip available

Speaking in Iowa, Vice President Joe Biden creeped people out by addressing a friend as a butt buddy.
“Neal Smith, an old butt buddy. Are you here, Neal? Neal, I miss you man. I miss you.”
Joe Biden, February 12, 2015 Audio and/or video clip available

With the backdrop of international instability, Vice President Joe Biden decided to focus on deflated New England Patriots footballs, in an awkwardly stated response.
“I tell you what, having been a receiver, I like a softer ball. That's all I can tell you.”
Joe Biden, January 21, 2015

In the opening day of the 2015 Senate, Vice President Joe Biden resumed his normal creepy self when talking to teenagers.
“You got some killer eyes. Those girls are in trouble.”
Joe Biden, January 6, 2015

In the opening day of the 2015 Senate, Vice President Joe Biden resumed his normal creepy self when talking Jeanne Shaheen's family.
“Hey guys, I love your mom and your grandma.”
Joe Biden, January 6, 2015

In the opening day of the 2015 Senate, Vice President Joe Biden resumed his normal creepy self when talking to teenagers.
“How old are you? 15? I hope Mom has a big fence.”
Joe Biden, January 6, 2015

Speaking at Arlington on Veterans Day, Joe Biden understated the number of wounded veterans by a factor of 10.
“As of this morning, U.S. troops died in Iraq and Afghanistan: 6,703; troops wounded in Iraq or Afghanistan: 5,168.”
Joe Biden, November 11, 2014

Speaking in Joplin, Missouri, Vice President Biden greatly exaggerated the death toll from the 2011 tornado, which was said to have killed 161.
“161,000 brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, grandparents lost.”
Joe Biden, October 3, 2014 Audio and/or video clip available

Speaking at the Kennedy School of Government, Vice President Joe Biden criticized allies for supporting the same policies his administration was supporting a year earlier.
“And what my constant cry was that our biggest problem is our allies – our allies in the region were our largest problem in Syria. The Turks were great friends – and I have the greatest relationship with Erdogan, which I just spent a lot of time with – the Saudis, the Emiratis, etc. What were they doing? They were so determined to take down Assad and essentially have a proxy Sunni-Shia war, what did they do? They poured hundreds of millions of dollars and tens, thousands of tons of weapons into anyone who would fight against Assad except that the people who were being supplied were al-Nusra and al-Qaeda and the extremist elements of jihadis coming from other parts of the world.”
Joe Biden, October 2, 2014

Speaking at Harvard, Vice President Biden claimed China was part of North America.
“There are more rigs, gas and oil rigs in the United States pumping today than every other nation in the world combined. Combined. North America will account, meaning Mexico, China and Canada, for two-thirds of the growth of global energy supply over the next 20 years.”
Joe Biden, October 2, 2014

Speaking to the Legal Services Corp, Vice President Joe Biden once again stepped in it, using a term that is considered by some to be anti-Semetic.
“That's one of the things that he finds was most in need when he was over there in Iraq for a year, that people would come to him and talk about what was happening to them at home in terms of foreclosures, in terms of bad loans that were being...I mean these Shylocks who took advantage of these women and men while overseas.”
Joe Biden, September 16, 2014 Audio and/or video clip available

Speaking in Detroit on Labor Day, a confused Vice President Biden cited a fake labor statistic and a fictional President.
“Why do CEO’s now make 333 times more money than the line worker when back when Wager was president, they made 25 times what the line worker. What happened? What happened?”
Joe Biden, September 1, 2014 Audio and/or video clip available

Speaking at the U.S. Africa Summit, Vice President Biden apparently thought Africa was a country.
“There's no reason the nation of Africa cannot, and should not, join the ranks of the world's most prosperous nations in the near term, in the decades ahead.”
Joe Biden, August 4, 2014 Audio and/or video clip available

In an interview with the New Yorker, Vice President Biden claimed he told Vladimir Putin that he didn't have a soul.
“I said, ‘Mr. Prime Minister, I’m looking into your eyes, and I don’t think you have a soul.'”
Joe Biden, July 17, 2014

In a report he sent to President Obama, Vice President Joe Biden claimed businesses were hiring at historic rates, despite millions more Americans being jobless.
“Businesses are hiring at historic rates, with 52 consecutive months of net private sector job growth. Manufacturing is back, with 668,000 new jobs in the past 52 months.”
Joe Biden, July 2014

Speaking at a White House Summit on Working Families, Vice President Joe Biden bragged about being a working class politician by not having any savings or stocks. He conveniently left out the fact that he has hundreds of thousands of dollars in stocks, bonds, and savings in his wife's name.
“I don’t own a single stock or bond. I have no savings account”
Joe Biden, June 23, 2014

Speaking to victims of the Boston Marathon bombings, Vice President Joe Biden raised some eyebrows by saying their suffering was worth it.
“My God you have survived and you have soared. It was worth, it was worth it. I mean it sincerely. ”
Joe Biden, April 15, 2014 Audio and/or video clip available

Speaking at the 94th annual convention of the American Association of Community Colleges in Washington, Vice President Joe Biden joked about sleeping with professors.
“Jill is probably right. I think I'd have the same attitude did I not sleep with a community college professor every night. Oh, the same one, the same one. The same one.”
Joe Biden, April 7, 2014 Audio and/or video clip available

Vice President Joe Biden had a teleprompter malfunction while speaking at National Association of Community Health Centers 2014 Policy and Issues Forum.
“Stop moving that, that, that, that, that, uh, you know, what's this thing called? You know, a TelePrompter. Barack always kids when he says, 'Joe Biden,' he said, 'I'm learning to speak without a TelePrompter, Joe's learning to speak with one.'”
Joe Biden, March 21, 2014 Audio and/or video clip available

Speaking in Philadelphia, Vice President Joe Biden had odd things to say about airports.
“If I blindfolded someone and took them at 2 o'clock in the morning into the airport in Hong Kong and said ‘where do you think you are,’ they’d say, ‘this must be America, it’s a modern airport. If I took him blindfolded and took to the LaGuardia Airport in New York, you must think, ‘I must be in some third world country.’ I’m not joking.”
Joe Biden, February 6, 2014 Audio and/or video clip available

In yet another classic sexist Democrat premise, Joe Biden asked a group of Japanese women if their husbands liked them working full time.
“Do your husbands like you working full-time?”
Joe Biden, December 2, 2013 Audio and/or video clip available

When asked about the failure of the Obamacare web site, Vice President Biden tried to pass the buck.
“Neither he and I are technology geeks, and we assumed that it was up and ready to run.”
Joe Biden, October 31, 2013 Audio and/or video clip available

When asked about why it was taking so long to fix the Obamacare web site mess, Joe Biden claimed ignorance.
“I don’t know, I wish I could tell you. That’s why I became a lawyer.”
Joe Biden, October 31, 2013 Audio and/or video clip available

When asked about the Obamacare web site failure, Joe Biden claimed the President and his daughter tried, but that he knew it wasn't going to work, so he didn't try.
“Actually, the president tried to get online and my daughter tried to get online. I did not because it was clear that I wasn’t getting online.”
Joe Biden, October 31, 2013 Audio and/or video clip available

Upon hearing of a park ranger standing up to World War II veterans and Republican Congressman Randy Neugebauer trying to access the shuttered World War II Memorial, Vice President Biden reportedly called the ranger and said he was proud of his actions.
“I'm proud of you.”
Joe Biden, October 3, 2013

While claiming credit for the Violence Against Women Act at a talk at the Vice President\'s residence, Joe Biden claimed to be the most knowledgeable man around.
“I'm going to say something outrageous. I think I understand the Senate better than any man or women who's ever served in there.”
Joe Biden, September 12, 2013

While claiming credit for the Violence Against Women Act at a talk at the Vice President\'s residence, Joe Biden called House Republicans Neanderthals for delaying the renewal.
“This sort of Neanderthal crowd”
Joe Biden, September 12, 2013

Speaking at a Jewish American Heritage Month reception, Joe Biden made sport of President Obama's teleprompter use.
“You can’t tell Barack that the teleprompter’s down. The standing joke in the office is Barack’s learning to speak without a teleprompter; I’m learning to speak with one.”
Joe Biden, May 21, 2013

Vice President Biden used a reference to the movie Deliverance, saying that women don't want to get raped by the system.
“After those guys tied that one guy to the tree and raped him, man-raped him in the film, why didn't the guy go the sheriff? They don't want to get raped again by the system.”
Joe Biden, May 1, 2013

Once again acting like the weird, dirty old man, Biden left people wondering when he compared girls to snakes.
“When they're 12 to 14, a dad puts his beautiful little daughter to bed. And then the next morning, there's a snake in the bed.”
Joe Biden, May 1, 2013

Speaking at a gun safety press conference, Vice President Biden appealed to his friends in the mainstream media to help his agenda.
“To be very blunt with you, we’re counting on all of you, the legitimate news media to cover these discussions because the truth is that times have changed.”
Joe Biden, February 11, 2013 Audio and/or video clip available

In the midst of the gun control debate, Vice President Joe Biden recommended earthquake victims buy shotgun shells.
“So you want to keep people away in an earthquake? Buy some shotgun shells.”
Joe Biden, January 24, 2013 Audio and/or video clip available

Speaking at the Iowa State Society inauguration ball, Vice President Joe Biden forgot who he was and what position he holds.
“I'm proud to be President of the United States, but I am prouder to be Barack, oh excuse me. I am proud, I am proud to be Vice President of the United States. And I'm prouder to be Barack Obama, President Barack Obama's Vice President.”
Joe Biden, January 19, 2013 Audio and/or video clip available

Vice President Joe Biden claimed he heard gunshots from the Amish school shooting in 2006 while allegedly playing golf nearby. The Washington Times research found no golf course nearby, nor any record of Biden playing golf anywhere in the vicinity on that day.
“I happened to be literally — probably, it turned out, to be a quarter of a mile [away] at an outing when I heard gunshots in the woods. We didn’t know...we thought they were hunters.”
Joe Biden, January 17, 2013

At an oath of office phototaking session for Senator Heidi Heitkamp, Joe Biden started joking after the photographer requested they drop their hands. Heitkamp's husband apparently didn't find it too funny.
“Spread your legs, you’re gonna be frisked. Drop your hands to your... you say that to someone in North Dakota, they think it’s a frisk, drop your hands to your side. They think you're in trouble, right? They tell you to drop your hands to the side. A little too formal, I know.”
Joe Biden, January 3, 2013 Audio and/or video clip available

While talking to Hurricane Sandy victims, Vice President Biden referred to President Obama as a homeboy.
“We’re not not going anywhere. And you’ve got a homeboy in the deal who gets it.”
Joe Biden, November 18, 2012

Once again in a state of confusion, Joe Biden seemed to think there were advertisements blaming President Clinton for President Obama's actions.
“That ad you've seen, says 'President Clinton bankrupted Chrysler so that Italians could buy it to ship jobs overseas to China.'”
Joe Biden, November 4, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

Perhaps Joe Biden was confused. Perhaps he was actually telling the truth.
“I'll tell you what, there's never been a day in the last four years I've been proud to be his Vice President, not one single day. Not one single day.”
Joe Biden, November 2, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

While campaigning in Florida, Joe Biden apparently thought he was in Ohio.
“Cleveland Plain Dealer, one of the major newspapers in this state said, 'it's a masterpiece in misdirection.'”
Joe Biden, October 31, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

Joe Being Joe struck again, leaving people at a Florida rally scratching their heads.
“As they say in my uh bid, business, I'm gonna...I’m gonna to give you the whole load today.”
Joe Biden, October 31, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

Lost in a thought and catching himself on this way to a major gaffe, Biden sort of pulled out of the rhetorical tailspin.
“I think this is pretty important to understand. I really mean this. Maybe it's just me. Maybe he makes me so...so. I'm being a good Biden today.”
Joe Biden, October 31, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

Attempting to one up Barack Obama's amazing claim of a 5 trillion dollar tax cut, Joe Biden decided replicate what happened as a result of the 2008 election - add a few zeroes.
“But you can't erase what you've already done. They voted to extend tax cuts for the very wealthy, giving a $500 trillion tax cut to 120,000 families.”
Joe Biden, October 26, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

Speaking in Ohio, Vice President Joe Biden thought he was in Iowa.
“I mean lit, literally, ladies and gentleman, this is a guy who's running all the ads here in Iowa, saying he's gonna get tough on China. I've been in, I've had the great privilege of being able to be in this state now, I think it's my 25th event, I'm not sure, but I've been all over the state.”
Joe Biden, October 24, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available


“How many of you know someone who served in Iraq or Iran? How many of you. How many of you know someone who has been injured or lost in Iraq or Iran? Well let me tell you something, we owe, we owe, we owe these families more than we could ever pay them.”
Joe Biden, October 18, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available


“Ryan has written a book called the Young Guns with two other fellows, members of the House. No, these are the Republicans leaders in the House. You had, you had, unfortunately the bullets are aimed at you.”
Joe Biden, October 18, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

Prior to his debate with Congressman Paul Ryan, Joe Biden told reporters what his strategy would be.
“You ever see me rope-a-dope?”
Joe Biden, October 11, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available


“With all due respect, that's a bunch of malarkey.”
Joe Biden, October 11, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available


“But I always say what I mean. And so does Romney.”
Joe Biden, October 11, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available


“Well, we weren't told they wanted more security there. We did not know they wanted more security again. And by the way, at the time we were told exactly -- we said exactly what the intelligence community told us that they knew. That was the assessment. And as the intelligence community changed their view, we made it clear they changed their view.”
Joe Biden, October 11, 2012

During the Vice Presidential Debate, Joe Biden claimed that President Obama would end the war in Afghanistan in 2014.
“With regard to Afghanistan, he said he will end the war in 2014.”
Joe Biden, October 11, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

During the Vice Presidential Debate, Joe Biden claimed that President Obama would end the war in Afghanistan in 2014.
“It's their responsibility to take over their own security. That's why with 49 of our allies in Afghanistan, we've agreed on a gradual drawdown so we're out of there by the year 20 -- in the year 2014.”
Joe Biden, October 11, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

During the Vice Presidential Debate, Joe Biden claimed that President Obama would end the war in Afghanistan in 2014.
“We will leave in 2014.”
Joe Biden, October 11, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available


“This is deadly earnest, man, this is deadly earnest, how they can justify, how they can justify raising taxes on the middle class that has been buried the last four years.”
Joe Biden, October 2, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available


“The cheerleaders in college are the best athletes in college. They are amazing. You think I’m joking. You think I’m joking. They’re almost all gymnasts. The stuff they do on hardwood, it absolutely blows my mind.”
Joe Biden, September 21, 2012

At a ceremony for the return of the body of his son Tyrone Woods, killed in the Benghazi attacks, Charles Woods was approached by Vice President Joe Biden, who had some inappropriate words to offer.
“Did your son always have balls the size of cue balls?”
Joe Biden, September 14, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

In trying to brag about how great his running mate was, Vice President Biden may have revealed a little extra information.
“I can tell you and I've known eight Presidents, three of them intimately”
Joe Biden, August 22, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available


“Now is the time to heed the timeless advice from Teddy Roosevelt. 'Speak softly and carry a big stick' End quote. I promise you, the President has a big stick. I promise you.”
Joe Biden, April 26, 2012 Audio and/or video clip available

According to anonymous sources, Congressman Mike Doyle and Vice President Joe Biden likened debt limit negotiations with Republicans to negotiating with terrorists.
“They have acted like terrorists.”
Joe Biden, August 1, 2011

At the signing of ObamaCare, Vice President Biden was caught saying an expletive on a hot mic.
“This is a big f***ing deal.”
Joe Biden, March 23, 2010 Audio and/or video clip available


“His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And, although, she's, wait, your mom's still, your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul”
Joe Biden, March 17, 2010 Audio and/or video clip available


“An hour late, oh give me a f**king break.”
Joe Biden, March 19, 2009 Audio and/or video clip available


“You know, I'm embarrassed. Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don't. I'm actually embarrassed.”
Joe Biden, February 25, 2009 Audio and/or video clip available


“Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S”
Joe Biden, October 15, 2008 Audio and/or video clip available

During the Vice Presidential debate, Joe Biden talked about going to Katie's Restaurant in his home state. Unfortunately, Katie's Restaurant had reportedly been closed since the Clinton years.
“Look, all you have to do is go down Union Street with me in Wilmington or go to Katie’s Restaurant or walk into Home Depot with me where I spend a lot of time and you ask anybody in there whether or not the economic and foreign policy of this administration has made them better off in the last eight years.”
Joe Biden, October 2, 2008


“When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'”
Joe Biden, September 22, 2008 Audio and/or video clip available

On the campaign trail, then Vice Presidential candidate guaranteed voters that a President Obama would not mess with his guns.
“I guarantee you Barack Obama ain’t taking my shotguns, so don’t buy that malarkey. Don’t buy that malarkey. They’re going to start peddling that to you. I got two. If he tries to fool with my Beretta, he’s got a problem.”
Joe Biden, September 20, 2008 Audio and/or video clip available

In an interview on Good Morning America, Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden said that paying more taxes was patriotic.
“We want to take money and put it back in the pocket of middle class people. [Anyone making over $250,000...] Is gonna pay more. You've got it. It's time to be patriotic, Kate. Time to jump in. Time to be part of the deal. Time to help American get out of the rut.”
Joe Biden, September 18, 2008 Audio and/or video clip available

Senator Biden knew wheelchair bound State Senator Chuck Graham so well that he asked him to stand for the crowd.
“I'm told that uh that uh uh Chuck Graham, state senator, is here. Chuck, stand up Chuck, let 'em see you. Oh, God love you. What am I talking about. I'll tell you what, you're making everybody else stand up, though, pal.”
Joe Biden, September 9, 2008 Audio and/or video clip available

Then-candidate Joe Biden didn't take kindly to a young staffer telling him it was time to make some fundraising telephone calls.
“Get the f**k out of the car.”
Joe Biden, 2008


“I mean, you got the first sort of mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and, and, and, clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, it's...that's a storybook, man.”
Joe Biden, January 31, 2007 Audio and/or video clip available


“You cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.”
Joe Biden, June 17, 2006 Audio and/or video clip available

While campaigning for President, Joe Biden attempted to connect with a potential voter.
“I think I have a much higher I.Q. than you do, I suspect.”
Joe Biden, April 3, 1987 Audio and/or video clip available

According to CNN's John Walsh, Vice President Joe Biden said Republicans were scared of gun control laws because of the NRA and the Tea Party.
“John, every one of them, because the NRA will run a tea-bagger against you...they’ll put 5 million bucks against you.”
Joe Biden, Unknown Date

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